"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love." Rumi
There are two main possible approaches to life. Either we lead our journey actively TO SOMETHING, or we AVOID SOMETHING.
So, in other words, we are navigated by love (to something, a goal/an objective) or fear (of something: guided by coincidence, decisions are made ad hoc).
If we follow our objective, we overcome obstacles. We are motivated by the reward awaiting us at the end of the road. Upon making a decision we first ask: How will this affect the pursuit of our goal? Which possibility will help me to achieve what I want? Will it help or will it slow me down? How can I decide better? We influence our destiny by our attitude towards it.
But if we are tossed about by circumstances, we are just trying to avoid potential "imminent danger" and we have no power over our own destiny. The result of this attitude is frustration.
After 20-40 years we wake up (if at all) in senseless and boring occupations (where our true selves and potentials are hidden), in dysfunctional relationships, because we were afraid of changes and/or liability. We were afraid to present ourselves in front of a group. We feared independence, loneliness. We feared people. Now, the “bloody math" is inexorable: our life is in ruins. We have been wandering aimlessly for far too long. We have wasted our chances. Because “fate forced us.” Subsequently we try to buy a shortcut, to catch up on what we have "missed" or we dismiss this unpleasant feeling by self-denial or rationalization. We blame the circumstances, the government, the family, God, death. We see ourselfs as victims.
The truth is, that where we currently are and how we are standing is the result of all our decisions we have ever made.
Do we know where we are heading? Are we lead by love or fear?