“Freedom is a game against the system“ Vilém Flusser
Peter hates conflictual situations. Whenever he feels an approaching conflict, his heart begins to beat wildly, his palms become sweaty, he feels fear and he wants to escape.
Joanna needs to be seen; she fears rejection. In the company of other she behaves and dresses conspicuously and will do anything to be the centre of attention. If it is not so, she becomes anxious.
Mark has an issue with authority. George is angered by any criticism. Martina feels "uneasy" when she receives a compliment...
We are at any given time in this form of trance and we all have automated responses to different situations. When a situation occurs, it "sets up” a specific manner (trigger) that can cause a default/unconscious emotional response and engages the autopilot mode, program/pattern of our behavioural apparatus.
Marshall Goldsmith describes this action by consecutiveness:
TRIGGER-> IMPULSE -> REACTION (BEHAVIOR)
…and finds a solution within:
TRIGGER-> IMPULSE -> REALIZATION -> CHOICE -> REACTION (BEHAVIOR)
The most important elements in this case are of course CHOICE preceded by REALIZATION.
The first step of "de-hypnosis" lies in realization: learning our own triggers and programs/patterns (behavioral apparatus).
The second step lies in our understanding of trauma. Trauma in this sense is everything that happens to us or what we have witnessed/experienced and are (were) unable to fully rationally and emotionally process. It is an event of survival for which we have created a defence strategy program/pattern and depersonalisation: keeping a distance, to become an observer of the mechanics of our own system.
The third step is to actively influence your own reactions in real time when being exposed to triggers; to actively respond to a program/system pattern.
The fourth step is a complete replacement of the old pattern by a new one - a desirable program.
Recognize situations that are your triggers and explore your reactions to the given setting.